A rape survivor and activist has revealed why she was compelled to share intimate details of her alleged sexual assault on social media just minutes after the attack, explaining that she instantly knew that she couldn't keep what happened to her a secret.
Amber Amour, 27, was in Cape Town, South Africa, promoting her 'Stop Rape. Educate' campaign in November when she she was allegedly attacked by a man named Shakir after she agreed to take a shower with him. After she was raped, Amber took to Instagram to post a photo of herself crying and a message detailing the horrific sexual assault.
'Here I was, telling survivors every single day that they should speak up... I knew I had to practice what I preached,' she explained to Marie Claire UK. 'So the first thing I did was take a picture and write a post, describing what had happened.'
'It was almost an intuitive thing,’ she added. ‘I was still in the bathroom – in the crime scene. I don’t even think I’d stood up. I just typed and typed.’
In her candid post, Amber explained that she had returned to a hostel that she previously stayed at after a two day bout with food poisoning to leave a note for her friend Nick when she ran into Shakir who was trying to ‘get with’ her.Activist, Amber Amour
She said she kissed him once, but claimed she had met someone and left because he ‘seemed drunk’. However, when he followed her upstairs and asked her to join him in the shower she agreed.
‘I said yes because the water at my current hostel is pretty cold and after two days of being sick, I just really wanted a hot shower,’ she explained. ‘As soon as I got in the bathroom, he forced me to my knees. I said “stop!” but he just got more violent.’
Amber went on to detail the sexual assault that caused her to pass out. When she awoke, She said he came back to the shower.
‘I have all those f****d up feelings that we get after rape…shame, disgust, suffering,’ she wrote. ‘I’m here, alone, and any DNA has been wiped away in the shower. The South African police will just roll their eyes when I walk in. Feeling sicker than ever now.’
The next day Amber returned to Instagram before she headed to the hospital to share a photo of the three angel cards she drew the night of her sexual assault.
‘Dealing with cops is tough and the rape kit is the last thing I want– tools and metal instruments and combs all up in my private parts…. But this is what I stand for,’ she wrote.
‘I tell you guys to speak up every single day and I know that I need to practice what I preach,’ she added. ‘It is so incredibly hard, though, but having you all here for me makes all the difference.’
While in the exam room, Amber posted a photo of her rape kit while revealing that many people have blamed her for her rape because she agreed to shower with Shakir.
‘No matter what a person does, it is not an invitation for rape,’ she argued in the photo caption. ‘It doesn’t matter if I kissed him. It doesn’t matter if he was drunk. It doesn’t matter if I said yes to a shower.
‘I never said he could get violent with me. I never said he could make me bleed. I never said he could rape me. But still, that’s how the scene went down.’
‘I don’t need to explain myself but if you’re wondering WHY I took a shower with him, it was written in the text, I’d been sick with food poisoning for two days and needed to sweat it out,’ she continued.
‘My current place of residence has only cold water (third world problems are real!) and it seemed like a miracle to be offered a hot shower.’
Amber told Marie Claire UK that she first experienced sexual violence when she was only 12 years old. More than a decade later, in September 2014, she started her campaign to end sexual assault after she was raped by her roommate in New York because she didn't like how the police handled her attack.
She also revealed the trauma inspired her to start a new campaign called 'Creating Consent Culture'.
'Opening up about rape or sexual assault isn't as scary as you think,' she added. 'By telling my mom about my first experience of sexual assault, I learned that she had experienced it too.
'That's the thing - there are so many more survivors out there than you would imagine, and chances are, the person you’re telling may have a similar story or might know someone else who has one.'
To combat the victim blaming she was facing, Amber shared screen shots of the criticisms she received on Instagram following her rape, many of which were written by women.
See Screen shots below as seen on Instagram:
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