Women were made to be very emotional creatures. We let our emotions direct us and sometimes, we make a lot of mistakes in the process. We want to be desired and loved and made to feel special and in the light of that want, we might get lost one time or the other and the worst part is that we never see it until it’s too late no matter how many girlfriends come together to tell you or how many family members hold different prayer sessions on your behalf. Unfortunately, you may never find out that that you’re in a bad relationship until you’re not in it anymore or you may be too afraid to do something about it.
Either way, it’s important to recognize if you mistakenly find yourself or a friend or a sister in any of the following wrong relationships and caution yourself or caution them to leave before it’s too late.
1. The ‘safe’ relationship
In this case, most times, you both have been together for a long time and it seems that there is nothing you don’t know about each other, you probably transitioned from a friendship to a relationship. Safe. It’s predictable, dependable. At least, you’ll always have someone there by your side so you can never be alone. Safe. You know deep down that you’re not in love with him or attracted to him. You just stay because you can’t imagine leaving him for an unknown ‘dream man’ that will never come and how are you even sure that he’s out there. You convince yourself of all of these and you stay.
2. The Friend with benefits
He was with you through your failed relationship and now, you need someone to hold onto in your vulnerable times. He might be in a relationship or not interested in being in one. He doesn’t want to lose you as a friend but he’s just as attracted to you so you both convince yourselves that you can do all the things that you need to ease your needs and you won’t ever talk about it and as soon as you find potential partners, the deal breaks. But usually, someone catches feelings and everything that was simple becomes complicated.
3. The one where you keep hoping and dreaming that he’ll commit to you
In this case, you like him and might even love him. You are sure that there’s much more that you both can achieve together but you’re not sure how he feels because he has never told you how he feels… Whenever you finally gather courage to ask, he’ll always tell you to give him more time because he’s not ‘there yet’. He’ll tell you how amazing you are, how it’s unfair for him to keep you in that place and how he wishes he can get better soon enough to give you what you deserve. He’ll even give you the option of meeting other men. However, you keep believing that he’ll come around and finally give in to you after all, he knows you are AMAZING.
4. The one where you believe that you can change him
He always has problems – Today, it might be drinking; tomorrow, money problems; next tomorrow – anger; the day after – he’s hurt from what his exes did to him so he takes it out on you and you let him because you believe that your love is to sacrifice your own happiness to change him and make him happy. You know someone who knows someone that was able to overcome this obstacle in their relationship. You can do it too. It doesn’t matter that it is taking away your happiness little by little or that you don’t even remember the last time he showed you love. All you know is, you won’t give up!
5. The ‘for now’
You know you’re not happy but you also know that you can’t deal with the stress of being single. You know you can’t end up with him but you also know that it’s better having him by your side for the mean time until you find the strength to go out and find a better man so you stay ‘for now’. The only problem is that ‘for now’ turns to months then years until you begin to try to tell yourself about the good qualities that he has and begin to think of possible ways to just stay with him ‘for later’ and maybe ‘forever’ too
6. The relationship for desperation
At this point, you just find anyone that can give you security. Your biological clock is ticking and you need someone to relieve your loneliness. You tried it all and it didn’t work so you just settle for the next time that comes around professing love for you and you promise yourself that you can learn to love him after all, your parents did it. Whenever the sadness comes, you remind yourself that it’s better than being alone.
Greennews.
No comments:
Post a Comment